DrinkinStories

Camping Out

-Drinking can Lead to a Nice Night with just Yourself, the Ground, and the Stars. Alright, so LeTs say that You are goin to an Off Campus Party. You know what that Means, RIGHT???! PRE-GAMING!!! Thats riiiiight, so You drink Lots of Vodka, ur Favorite Drink, in the Dorms with your Friends. Then, its Time to go to the Party.

CUT TO EVeryone Jumpin into the Cars, DRIve to the Party, and Get out. Okay, so Yeah, you walk in, Its the 1st BIG Party of the NEW SchooL YEar. There are Lots Of People there and its Pretty Chill. So, you know u walk around, talk to All ur Friends tHat you haven't seen for Awhile and stuff, Whatever.

CUT TO THE SCENE--okay, then this girl with long brown hair comes over to you, and the 1st thing she says is NOT a Hello, but "You know what, I really don't Like you." Yup, thats what she said. Maybe a Pick-Up line??? Hmmm, i dunno. So you arE like "why do you hate me Baby?! You can't Hate ME..." ANd she is simply, "yeah, i just really dont like you" ANd then u are like, "But Baby, You don't even know me, riiiight????" (You see, YOu might know her, or have met her before, but You really don't remember)

SO yeah, she just keeps sayin she doesn't like you, and then CHALLENGES you to A DRINK OFF. NOw in one Corner, We have Yourself with a Mixed Drink of Vodka and FruitPunch (and Everyone KNOWS that you always fill ur drink Half with Vodka, or even more sometimes...) In the other Corner, a Drunk girl with a Beer. Alright, so thatS real FAIR! YOU know that if You drink that WHole Mixed Drink, YOu will Be Very FUCKED UP...but, being the drunk you are, You take that Chance.....

Alright, so the Drink OFF begins, and You totally KICK HER ASS....but here is where the Problem starts...you see, YOU DRANK most of UR drink, but at the bottom of the bottle, there were a FEW drips Left....just a FEw, I swear! ANd When you go to PROVE that YOu finished ur drink (this requires you To Turn your Bottle Upsides DOWN, and SHAKING IT VIOLENTLY...atLeast, thats hoW I PLAY) WEll, when u go and do that, SOME, a FEW, tiny little drips of ur RED fruitpunch, Splat on your Challenger, that RUDE DUMB BITCH!!! Oh, i mean, that um, Girl with Brown hair...

SO yeah, bla bla bla, she gets all Mad, and HER BiAtch of A FRIEND comes OVEr and starTs Screaming at YOU and telling YOu that You are a Jerk, and Pushing you and bla bla bla, MORE nasty Words, and TO get the Fuck out of the House....so Yeah, you just walk away from That, cause YOu dont want ANy of that Shit. SO you walk away, Your Nice Friend, Who we will Just Call, hmmmmm, "Katie McCabe," Gives you a Beer to chill you out...and to calm u down, whatever. SO yeah, you drink that, ANd go On ouTside to See whats UP...OH GOD, WHAT A BAD BAD BAD MOVE ON ur PART!!!

ALright, so here's the GOOD PART, THE Great OUTDOORS. Alright, so u walk on out, and YOu see Jamie the "INFormation Bitch." You always Work with her at the Campus Center, but You never really talk to each other. But NOW that YOU are Both completely Wasted, YOu become Best Friends (and NOW, you 2 really Are likE best Friends and the Info Bitch is like the Coolest Person you KNOW! WHOAH!) ANyways, so yeah, you talk to her and shit, and then she goes inside, and You just chill outside or whatever. Okay, so you chillin, and then u discover that you kinda feel like Passing out or what not. ANd that WEll, you Can't WALK using ur Legs very much....so yeah, u kinda just lay down somewhere in the Yard.

Now everything from here is very Hazy. You don't remember what happened really or how u got in the place you did. ALL that u remember is Talkin to "Info Bitch" and then, YOu WAKE UP in a LIttle Ball lying in the Yard. You look at ur Watch, to DIscover that it was like 5 or 6 am in the morning, and WEll, the PARTY was TOTALLY OVER DUDE! So yeah, u dont want to stay OUtside, so YOu go to the backdoor, and THANK GOD its OPEN! SO you walk in and See other Peeps SLeepin on the floor, BUt You choose to Pass Out in a nice Comfortable Chair.

CUT TO THE NEXT MORNING. Okay, so you are Awaken in ur Chair by some Noise. YOu open ur eyes to see the people passed out are now Awake, and You know NONE of them. SO, you ask them if they are goin back to Campus, and to ur Surprise, NONE of them Go to YOur school, and were just Visiting thier friends at this house, and were actually on their way to a Concert (and it was funny, because like 3 of them were very hungover and some were really sick, so Their Concert Must have SUCKED....Been there BEFORE!!...right Mike, Michelle, and Geoff??!!) Okay, so Anyways, YEah, so YOU really need to get back to school. SO you walk around to look for the TelephonO...ONLY to find there WAS NONE! SO, u walk into some dudes bedroom, and ask where the phone is. He says "Oh, we disconnected it so no one could make calls last nite, go into the other bedroom and wake up that other dude and ask him for it" SO you do, and the other dude jUst is not very Helpful. He basically says get the fuck out of his room.

So, you chill in the livingroom until the 1st dude gets up, and is like, WHo the fuck are YOU man?! And you are like "HI, I passed out in your Backyard Last Night, I'm a Big DOrk, and um, can I use ur phone to get a ride back to school?!!" ANd he laughs and gets u the phone. So, its 9:30 am, and YOu call YOur Roomate, who we shall ONCE AGAIN call...."JEffrey Judd." So u call, and he is confussed because he had NO idea where u've been all night, and he thought you left the party without him. SO you explain how You had a Campout and shit, and He explains how THey Looked for You when the COPS CAME AND BROKE UP THE WHOLE PARTY!!! So yeah, ots of ACTION was Missed. And I guess the Cops didn't do that good of a job breakin it up, if theY COULDNt Find a PASSED out KId in a BackYARD!!!

Anyways, so 'Jeff' Doesn't really remember how to get back to the party, Even Tho HE drove YOu there, so you are kinda thinkin u will be stuck at this dudes House Forever. BUt Dont WORRY, the Dude hears u on the phone and HE HIMSELF offers YOU A ride Back to SCHOOL! YOU Gladly EXCEPT, get in the CAR, drive Back to SChooL, say Thank YOU, get OUT, and go Pass out In ur OWN BED. ANd from that DAY on, whenEver there is a PArty at That House, YOU will Be Made FUN oF by people suggesting We go to the Party, and that Maybe YOU can Have a CAMPout AGain, BUt that This TIme, GO PREPARED with a SLEEPING BaG and a Lantern!!!

Drinking can Lead to you being very, VERY, VERY sick. Lets say you go to a frat party @ Riverside. So, you've drank a WHOLE LOT OF BEER in the basement and you are wasted. But wait!!! Upstairs, the frat guys decided to bring out the Punch. You, who loves to drink, Know that the Punch must be GOod. AND, your friend...we shall call him, 'Jeff Judd' once again, Tells you to get all that you can before it RUNS OUT because It is SO GOD DAMN GOOD and You know Everyone is Gonna Want to Drink it!! You, being the Drunken fool who you are, Decided u like this Idea and Take Cup after Cup after Cup. You and "Jeff" Even go as far as Taking off the LID of the PUnch Container, and just start Dipping your Cups in. It was easier this way...

Time passes, and then your friends decide to leave. Now remember, You came in a Mini-van with 20 other people. So, its Time to Crunch all of yourselves back in! But, oh-no, you start to feel not GOOD! So you get to sit next to the sliding door. So, everyone's in...its cramped..its hot..and you aren't moving cause you have to wait for all the other cars to Get out first. OH NO, you have to throw up!! SO u open the door and PUKE Everywhere outside.... okay okay. Not bad, not bad. But your Fun is just begining. The car begins to move...you have to shut the door. Luckily, you then pass out for the whole trip back to school..BUT then, you are Waken up by people yelling at u to get out of the car! You are greatly confussed, and oddly, you can't move really good. Then, the door opens, and SOMEONE gives you a, as its described, a Slight Push.(I think much more than Slight). You fall out of the minivan and Hit the side of the car REAL HARD and fall into a Big Puddle. OH yeah, FUN FUN. Then, your friends, who are drunk jerks, walk off and leave you...BUT, 2 nice girls, one you know, we shall call her um, "Dee," and one u don't, Stay with u and help u, altho all you wanna do is stay lying in the puddle because, strangly, it feels good. So then, after much convincing that it would be best if I went to my room instead of sleepin in the puddle, these 2 girls need to carry u all the way back to youR room because You Can' Move Your FEET. In your room, u throw up over and over and over again. You waKe up the next morning, Feeling Horrible and, once again, need to clean up after yourself.

$50 Fine and a Drunk Class

Can Lead to you getting Your ASS written up by the Resident Director of 3A (notice I did not Mention Her name...) Alright, so your Night was KICK ASS! You drank at the Dell and then in The Dorms, you saw a lot of cool Peeps, YOU HAD FUN! Well, so, you go from room to room in the Dorms, then decided to stay in one room at around 4:00 a.m., instead of goin back to ur room like some of your friends did. You are just chilling cause you aRe done drinking, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, a KNOCK KNOCK at the door. Then, some girl decides to Open the door with a BEER in her Hand! You know what this means?? YOU are Being written up for BEIng in the Room with Alcohol...EVEN if It is for ONE BEER!

Oh well, so that SUCKS majorly. You walk back to ur room all PISSED OFF, but you talk to your friend, wHo we shall just call...um..."Vanessa," and u both decided to go RollerBlading! You do that, Fall only TWICE, so its all good! However, after going around the RING, you sKate into 3A and 3B and wake up your friends at 5:00 a.m. in the morning. Now, You are short a couple Friends Because they dont like being woken up early in the morning when theY have Games the next day....So, altho you had a KICK ASS night, and think its Good to Drink, THINK AGAIN! You have to pay a Fine, go to an Alcohol meeting, be on Probation, and get a few friends Pissed at you! All Due to ALCOHOL Consumption!

(Okay, The Meeting was actually Kinda Fun Tho. Only Probably because I went to it with Kristel and we were "under the influence." That made it a Lot more Easier to Sit thru. Also, It was Great seeing the Rest of the Drunks in there because it turns out I knew EVerYone In it! And, When it came Time to take that stupid Quiz at the End of the Class to See if You Learned Anything, I passed with Flying Colors....Okay, So I Lie, I Failed it and Proved that I Learned NOTHING. Oh well, Maybe someDay I'll have to go to a 2nd Drunk Meeting! Then I can Pass It! I can't wait!

Attempted Drunk Rollerblading

Drinking Can Lead to You being Very Sick onCe Again. Lets say you start drinking on a Thursday night at 5:00 p.m. ALL is Good, just sippin some Vodka. Hours Pass, you arE drunk. Then, your EVIL SOBER FRIENDS, decided to take advantage of the drunken FOOL! WHile an nice RA , who we shall just call "Tracey," is putting up a display involving a Pirate scene, in which it has real Goldfish Crackers in the ocean, youR so-called Friends decided to make you Bob up and down, Eating the Goldfish off of the WALL! THey then TAKE MANY PICTURES! Then, your friends decided to be even more mean, and start to cut your Hair a little. This is Definately NOT GOOD! Finally, you notice, but theY lie to You and say, "you are just drunk, shut UP!" But u still know that u are right, cause You saw the scissors! They do it again, and again, and U just can't stop them(u are too drunk to do so). Then, you get angry some, and decided to rip the shirt off of ur friend...we shall call her, "Amy." So u rip it off, causing her to get mad. Appearently, as "Amy" tells u the next day, She then tries to Lock u in the Trash Room. But U escape, but Only to hear your Friends Making Fun of your dead Grandma, Who you caLL 'mimi.' You dont like this at all becauseThey were Saying Very Mean Things whicH are NOT TRUE!!! But ur friend, "Jeffrey Judd," keeps saying these Mean things and calling ur Mimi a Slut, Whore, and, the ultimate, "Rollerpig." That was just Cruel...that Poor dead grandmother.

Yes, so then, u go back to your room...and Appearenlty, on youR way, you see a lot of your Friends, and Run up to theM, GIve Big Hugs, and Say you Love them...But you dont KNow this Until Days Later, BecauSe u were To drunk to Remember. So, u go back, and ONCE AGAIN, You decided to Go Rollerblading! Yes, so u put them on...actually, u have "Vanessa" put them on, and U GO down the stairs...Very tough tho. U go outside, skate about a FOOT,and FALL TO THE GROUND. (Later on, you find out your OWn RA, we shall call her "LEX," saw you FALL on ur Ass, and she Laughed Her Ass off! She was gonna Call out and Make fun of you, but she couldn't stop laughing to do so...). SO u get up, skate some more, and FALL again, and again and again. Nice Going! You keep falling because your Vision is not very well. You can see about a half of a foot infronT of youself. ON ur Way, to the ROCK, You see some More Friends, and They are talkin to you, but well, You Just Can't See who they Are becausE, your vision is Very Limited. Anyways, You get all the way to the rock, then "Vanessa" wants to go bacK to get her Camera. So u 2 skate back, Very VERY Loudly, and, when u get their, your Suitemates take away ur rollerblades and make u go to bed, Because the RA's were goin to write u up because u were SO LOUD EVERYONE could HEAR YOU! SO you go to bed, Pass out, wake up the next morning and FEEL Like u have never felt before. SO SICK! YOu stay in bed the WHOLE DAY! Only get up to put a movie on, and then Fall asleep again. OH yeah, and U miss all of ur classes, AGAIN! Also, you feel sick for basically the Whole Week, and you Even Take off the Next Weekend Because the Thought of DrinkinG Makes you Sick....

Drinking can sometimes get in trouble without even drinking the

alcohol! Let's say that you, your good friend "Jeffrey Judd," and another named.....lets see...um, "Kristin", all go to the Liquor store to buy some alcohol. None of you are 21, but "Jeff" is Tall, and he looks like He could Almost Be 21! So yeah, He can buy. All goes accordingly and you drive back to campus...of course after stopping off at The Burger King drivethru for some food. Okay, so you park in the parking Lot, and get all the beer in that big backpack of yours, But all of it didn't fit (YOu had SO MUCH!) So, "Kristin" leaves some in the brown bag it came in, BUt Smart Thinkingly! She puts SCHOOL BOOKS over the beer in the baG! SO, this seems like a good plan. You know, normally just walk into the dorms like usually....

HOWEVER, thats wheRe things go BAD! As you are walking towards the dorms, over on the left of you, you see some flashlights go on from the bushes and you see 2 men running at you yelling "DonT Move!!" Then you notice, "Hey, Those are the Police." Yes, so you think to yourself, YOU ARE SCREWED! Maybe they wont check us... hehe, right?? WRONG!! They look in the brown bag, which was covered with those school books, but I guess not well enough. Then one asks YOu, carrying the backpack, to take it off so he could search it. BUt here's the Prob. YOu have that Heavy backpack oN AND You have Your Burger KinG Food in your Hands!! What to do?! So, you ask the policeman to Hold your food for you...DUMB MOVE! He gets all pissed, and then Your GOOD FRIEND "JEFFREY JUDD" says, infront of the police, "what are you fucking Serious?? Put the fuckin food on the ground!" Yeah, so you do, and, well, yeah, your Bag is searched and NOW you are in trouble. One of the Cops, the MEAN ONE, asks you for YOUR Liscense. So, you get your Wallet Out of your Back Pocket and Open it UP. Then, the Cop looks into it and Asks Me if I have a Fake ID. And you Tell him that You do NOT. THen, He kinda Grabs at your Wallet, and pulls out your ID for YOU. However, it was not your Liscense, its Your UMass Pass. And The Dumb-Ass Cop Thinks that Maybe THAT is a Fake ID. And you are Like "UM, no, You see, thats MY UMASS PASS! Hold on, I'll get u my ID." SO, you continue looking, and then he Grabs another card From ur Wallet, and wants to know if THAT was a Fake ID. hahaha, because, No, its Not a FAKE ID, but IT IS Your Burger Kind KIDS CLUB PASS! haha, which is A Fake ID in a way because It says You are only 10 YEARS OLD INSTEAD OF 19 YEARS OLD. So finally, you find your ID, and they take you liscense info down. Then They inform the group of yourself, "Jeff," and "Kristin," that they will All be Goin to Court for this, and HOUSING will be Notified...thats just Great since you are on PROBATION Still from the Last time being caught....And YOUR PARENTS won't like Hearing you have to GO TO COURT for "Minor Transporting."

So, the Cops Get on their Little Walkie-Talkie's there, and start to Call in your Names and Info. First goes "Kristin Twombly," T as in 'tango', W as in 'whisky', O as in 'octa', M as in......AND SO ON!!! hahaha, that was the Best part! After that, they gave us back our ID's and STOLE ALL our Alcohol...BUt atLeast they Let you Keep your Burger King Food! So yeah, you Went back to your Room, and THANK GOD you had Some Vodka In your Fridge!!! So, you get some and put it in a Water Bottle, and Went out and Just DranK it Straight baBy. That way, it Looked Like Water and NO one Can Stop you For That!! You get Drunk, and End A Bad Day on Somewhat Of a Good Note....

(Alright, so a few weeks after this Little Event Happened, we Discovered that the Police were NOt going to Charge us and it was a Fake STING OPERATION Cracking DOWN on Student Drinking! SCORE! SO yeah, They took all of our Alcohol and they tried Scaring Us into NOT DRINKING! That Almost Worked! haha. So we were out a Few Bottles of Alcohol and some packs of beer, AtLeast We didn't Get in Trouble tho!! Right?? Right. and Thank God I never Told My Parents About It!!! That would Have SUCKED!!!)